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First things first, Cognition has gotten a little makeover, as you might have already noticed. (I hope you did because I spent 3 hours figuring out design.) It’s my attempt at improving your readability. Lmk what you think.

After writing about newsletters for three weeks straight, I am in the mood for copywriting.

Let’s start here:

Bad copy from any brand pisses me off. I feel, “What the hell was the writer even thinking???” But it really hurts when my favourite brands showcase hopeless copy on their website or emails. Then I thought, “What’s the point in grumbling when I actually have the skills to fix it?”

So here we are on a Friday evening, fixing Audible.

What’s going on with me and Audible?

But Audible’s copy, ughhhhhh!! It brings out the worst in me.

See for yourself:

Let’s have a closer look, shall we?

• “Get your imagination going?” Is this an art class or something? I am not creating anything - I am consuming. What do I need imagination for? The farthest I could think of was imagining fiction audiobooks.

• “The best audiobooks. The most entertainment. The podcasts you want to hear?” Come on, Amazon, Hemmingway told us to write for a fifth-grader, not like a fifth-grader.

• “Start your 30-day free trial” I like that. Typical gurus suggest shorter CTAs, but it doesn’t make sense to me. Whatever makes people click is a good CTA.

• “₹199 per month after 30-day trial. Cancel anytime. Now accepting UPI payment method.” I gotta give it to Audible here. Really cool work - clearly mentions pricing and structure. I noticed my friends had issues with businesses accepting only credit cards during free trials. Mentioning Audible accepts UPI (easiest mode of payment for Indians) is reassuring and makes people act fast.

• “We’ve got what everyone’s listening to” Why should I care about everyone? What’s in it for me?

• “Best Sellers. New Releases. That story you’ve been waiting for.” 🫠 What do I even say now? It’s not personal; it’s not a benefit.

That being said, roasting, analysis, or complaining is far easier than writing copy. That’s why I never only break down copy. I dissect, give my opinions, and then write a better version. That’s how I think we should approach mock copy.

Before I share my version and explain the reasoning behind it, say hello to our sponsors:

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Gosh, it’s been a while since I wrote a mock copy. Good to be back.

I started with brainstorming. I listed out answers for two questions:

1. What is Audible trying to communicate here?

The answer wasn’t clear to me. The landing page was vague, so I decided to get answers from the second question.

2. What does Audible mean to me?

I have already shared my relationship with Audible and how I use it. But it’s not about me. There’s a large scale of audience I need to consider. In my opinion, Audible is known for books over entertainment content or podcasts. So obviously I want to play around with books. But I shouldn’t go with my assumptions; I should test my thesis.

I messaged in 10 communities with one question:

I asked in different groups with different orders of options - because I believe order and number of votes minorly influence decisions.

Entertainment, I get it’s vague. I didn’t understand why they used the word on the landing page in the first place, so I included it in the polls to check if I was missing anything. Between podcasts and audiobooks, we have a clear winner.

It’s best to make it all about books.

Yes, I understand the brand wants to show they have more, but if you look at the images Audible placed on the landing page, you’ll know where their interests truly are.

So I worked on the copy, keeping books in mind, and here’s the result:

I wrote three copy because I wanted the yellow text to keep scrolling/changing while everything else remains still. I spoke to some folks and realized there are different reasons to use/like Audible.

…which is why a slide show of benefits appealing to different preferences made sense to me.

Not only that, I worked on framing a little. I understand Audible wants to show that it has a huge collection. More than we can possibly imagine. So I wanted to give that to the brand - coz 99% of the time I find what I need.

But, of course, I followed it up with a membership cue. Any book for ₹199 per month still yells at you, ‘YOU NEED TO PAY.’

‘Become a member today. One book a month on us!’ sounds more like a reciprocation than a transaction. “You become a part of us, and we will return the gesture with a book of your choice.” See that?

The CTAs were perfect. It’s something I’d click on, so I decided not to change them.

Anyway - that’s my version of the improved Audible copy. If you have better versions, angles, POVs, or feedback, my email inbox always welcomes you in. Nvm, Scratch that. I should work on my puns.

It feels nice writing to you. Please share Cognition if you enjoyed this issue; it’d mean the world to me.

Love,
Vikra.